Expectation feeds frustration. What screws us up the most in life is the preconceived picture in our head of how things are. We have to learn to drop the ambiguous ideas. As I get older, I find my understand deepens. I can integrate lessons, draw from my experiences, and make better connections.
Over the weekend I competed in an Olympic weightlifting competition. It has been almost a year since my last competition. Within the last month I had an epiphany. Basically, I cannot live without weightlifting. It builds my confidence and makes me feel strong. I have a sever passion for the sport. So, I signed up for a local competition and started training. At the beginning of the first 4 weeks I told myself this was just a competition to shake off the dust. Nothing to prove and no one to prove it to. As it came closer to competition day, I found myself nervous. I was already counting myself out. My shoulders felt heavy with pressure. Where was this pressure coming from? Expectations. These expectations came solely from myself. There was an expectation to hit my old numbers. To be stronger than I was before. Suddenly, I didn’t feel ready for the competition. I felt discouraged and upset. Luckily, I have a good support team of coaches who constantly reminded me there were no expectation for this competition. My only job was to do me and lift. I thought about why I was putting so much pressure on myself. I reminded myself of where I am at in my journey and that I just started lifting again. I went into the competition clear-headed.
At the competition I went 6/6. I made all of my lifts! I hit 59kg for snatch and 73kg for my clean and jerk. Once I dropped my expectations, I made an active decision to live in the moment. It was one of my best meets ever. My lifts were flawless and smooth. I was able to appreciate being surrounded by good friends and other good lifters. I challenge you: if you have felt the pressure lately, drop the expectations you have set for yourself. You will never feel freer.
Sending all my love, xo
Here are my lifts, ENJOY!!!